By John
Our family has been busy with anniversaries for the last few weeks. All three of our girls have birthdays around the end of July and beginning of August. It is a peculiar tradition to pick a day and celebrate it yearly, but we do it. Now, in the mix with that is the anniversary of my Mom’s death. Tomorrow will be one year since her death, so now we have gone through all the “firsts” without her. Her birthday, Mom and Dad’s wedding anniversary, thanksgiving, Christmas, our kids birthdays, and of course, the McLeod reunion.
Through no design of my own, I have been relatively unemotional about my Mom’s death. It’s not because I’ve tried to be strong, or anything as conscious as that. It’s just the way that my humanness has shown itself. In some ways, I think it would have been easier to have some huge emotional release. But, oh well. I can say this. There has been a huge void in my life and in my family’s life without her. She was a truly fabulous woman. Perhaps the greatest sense of loss that I feel is that some of my children will not be able to remember her.
I also grieve for the sake of my dad and my sister, who physically miss Mom’s presence and conversation daily. It has been so much harder for them, and it will continue to be. . . and also for my Memama, who still wakes up each morning with the pain of losing her daughter.
But, the more I think about Mom, the less I think of loss, and the more I think of gain. Her gain. I’ve been listening to a song on a new CD this week. I’ve probably listened to it a dozen or so times in the last few days. I enjoyed the melody and the tone of the song; it seemed to fit my mood. However, unlike Stacey (who can remember lyrics to any song she has ever heard), I still didn’t really grasp the lyrics. I was just catching bits and phrases. Well, today I decided to read along as I listened. Here is the text.
It is not death to die
To leave this weary road
And join the saints who dwell on high
Who’ve found their home with God
It is not death to close
The eyes long dimmed by tears
And wake in joy before Your throne
Delivered from our fears
O Jesus conquering the grave
Your precious blood has power to save
Those who trust in You
Will in Your mercy find
That it is not death to die
It is not death to fling
Aside this earthly dust
And rise with strong and noble wing
To live among the just
It is not death to hear
The key unlock the door
That sets us free from mortal years
To praise You evermore
© 2008 Sovereign Grace Praise (c/o Integrity Music, Inc.)
Bob Kauflin | George Washington Bethune | Henri Abraham Cesar Malan
You can listen to a sample of the song here.
Mom was a gift from God to us. She has left an indelible mark on our lives. Her unwavering commitment and care for those she loved. . . her grace. . . her hospitality. . . are evidence of God’s grace to her and to us.
Thank you, Lord for 32 great years with my Mom.

